I watch all these old fashioned romantic programs all the time with mum. And I'm jealous of the people in them, the women can fall for the men and the men can fall in love with the women. There's nothing about a women falling for another women is there? That seems wrong to me. My own sexuality is wrong to me. I hate it and I hate the fact that I can't change it more. I don't fit, I don't fit anywhere and I thought I did. I don't. How is this fair? To make me watch every single person I've ever loved, be loved by someone else. No more I can't take anymore.