Not any girl. No club girls. Kate. Holy shit, why she thinks I'd ever have need of looking at other girls I have no idea. Clothes.. No clothes. Especially no clothes. She sent me a picture drunk but fuck it wiped my brain now all I can think about is picking her up wrapping her legs around me and fucking her. Yep. 

Literally so frustrated I could jump into the Clyde. Ridiculous craving to have a girl on my skin, feel her softness is far too intense and shit for my liking. I mentally undress every single girl I walk past 

It's still a mind fuck to me that there are a couple of seriously gorgeous girls interested in me, theres this girl called sarah ( who happens to be a surfer and an underwear model? How kirsty but well done) and i'm not sure if it's going to be a purley sex fling. I found myself thinking about where i would take her out, sounded her out about it as well so i think i maybe will. It feels right so why not. I need to be gentle with her though because a full on relationship still isn't what im really looking for. 

Sooo morally ok to sleep with a girl whos just dumped her girlfriend? we will see. 

uugh i don't know what i really want but i think i do want her, she's coming over tomorrow night after we go out but my confidence is shot. Seems like the more girls i pull in clubs the more it hits my confidence? i've been seriously bad resently. Six girls in one night, i don't know i don't feel so bad about it really because i've never been able to do this before. Basically just being greedy. Girls everywhere and i've got no idea why but they seem to seriously take to me. They ask me if i want to go back to there flat though and i don't, i even check myself but i actually don't want to sleep with them. Takes a more attraction, i can't find a girl with glow but i don't spose a club is the place to go looking. When i'm on my own i seriously crave being fucked and spending some time on someone just making them feel good, pulling them up in the shower. I won't be sleeping alone tomorrow night but i'm not sure if i'll take it on, i need to have that feeling of seriously not being able to resist them. 

Damn I miss being fucked, lack of sex is seriously driving me mad. That and I want to get my hands on a girl and let lose, get them soaking and give them as much as they could take. Shit. At the mercy of my overly active sex drive.  

The other night was interesting, went to the gay club in merchant for the first time and my god I have never seen so many girls at one time. Got with this gorgeous blond girl called Rachel, then whilst she was away did a cheeky two and pulled this stunner who turns out was straight because she went from me to my mate Gabriel. Still counting that as a win though. Seems to be that pulling girls is a good time but I have no desire to sleep with them for some reason unless I know about them a little. Rachel wanted me to take her home with me but I dunno I had no desire to fuck her because she didn't interest me. I probably shouldn't have as much luck as I've been having with girls must just be a lucky streek! 

I'm interested in getting to know folk more at the moment, couple of friends with benifits situations would be ideal -I think I might be in there with Mariella 

Trying to study in the library and all I can think about is how badly I want someone to fuck me. Apparently library's make me horney now as well, who knew? 

Would seriously love for someone to climb into bed and just be there, close to me. Find myself writing and thinking that alot and it's not like i've ever known something that was that consistent, so i'm never sure why it's always there but regardless. Find it hard to ignore. At the same time it's easy to miss someone wanting your touch to be there hmm. Got a weird craving just to be able to put a lot of thought and effort into making some one grin, the kinda take them some place ace that they have never been and show them something new typa thing. Or play out something they have always wanted to do but have just never got around to it, doesnt have to be something big just something they want to do. I miss that as well. Knowing how to chill someone completely out as well, sitting in the quiet playing with there hair or running your finger tips over there skin until they are snoring away. Theres no outlet for these things that isn't another person. 

Apparently Rhys is 'on a mission' to shag me before he gets to third year? Excuse you. Pretty funny considering it's never going to happen - uncomfortable to be talked about like I'm some sort of weird challenge, just a hole for some guy to shove his dick in so he can say he's fucked a lesbian. Go set your pubes on fire. 

Nearly made a total dick move but came to my senses. This girl told me last night that she was falling for me -  I mean body is wanting so much but brains position is the same - nearly caved and asked her over but I didn't. I can't actually get emotionally attached at the moment and I'm not wanting to, I'm sure of that so it would be totally unfair to her. So I told her straight, ain't fair to play with a girl with feelings and being selfish with the physical. I'm a dick for even thinking about it for a second to be honest. 

Was fine for a few days as well just as soon as she mentioned wanting to kiss me and have a cuddle, bam there's the little monster back and wanting someone all over me. Spesifically admittedly my thoughts keep going back to one thing

Do what feels good right? Can't sleep and all my brain keeps jogging on back to is how much i want G to be with me right now. Naked, gorgeous and in my bed. I dont think i'd care what went down if she was, more than up for playing it on what she fancied at the time.

Getting a little bit lost in the physical is what is needed right now. I'm not sure I'd subject anyone to well myself right now though because I can't afford to get the emotional and the physical tangled or I'm fucked. So tired at the moment it mainly that and weird down points. Want to put all this frustration into fucking someone, strange that it's not the other way around but having scratches on my back and a bite mark on my shoulder from pushing them to the edge is the most appealing thing right now. 

A little drunk

still fucking alone. 

Uggh hands fucked from playing so much today, forgot how much of a killer metal mix strings are. Got a pityful amount of work done because i got distracted as well and body has taken over too much so i can't focus. The rest i'm good with like emotionally and shit but i'm craving being kissed pretty bad, genrally having someones touch. Perfect thing right now would be if someone grabed me into a cuddle and kissed me for a while untill we fell asleep. Seriously want it so much but there ain't shit i can do about that one right now. Probably just being a sap.

Desided i'm totally uncool with myself for showing skin in pictures to folk, was one thing that i've always been like nah i'm not going to do it. Fair enough i've been there done that (lost the t-shirt!) but if a girl wants to see me in the buff then they are going to have to be close enough to touch. Weird conflicting ideas about all these things right now but i think it's just because i'm getting thrown different senarios which is ace but i both want to be able to know what i think about them and be able to go with the flow? Like i'm totally not thinking about these things seriously because theres no point. It's nice to have the freedom to do what ever feels good typa thin.

Wishing the girl who left my bed smelling like her was in it, seriously would love to get my hands on her again. Got about a million things that have been imagined that i want to put into practise, i really want to fuck her.