What's the point...

I couldn't care about you anymore than i do. Give you everything i can possibly give you, you have all of me. On nights light this when you're sitting totally unaware of what to do, feeling like total crap i'm sitting in my room doing the exact same. Only being able to think about you, woundering what your doing at that moment. If you're okey and just hoping that you will be alright, that you will make it untill tomorrow because then maybe i can do something, anything to make you feel better. Fact is i do understand. I do care. And i love you.

It's maybe not a normal reaction but i really want you right now. I want to have your eyes on me like there is no one else in the world. I need that feeling just now, when we sleep together. I want your skin  on mine... uggh 

Nobody can come between us, it's me and you mrs. Us against the world. In a lot of ways the more frightening thing is us against ourselves isn't it? But we can either struggle with what's in our heads alone or lean on each other. I won't let the past be something that gets to creep back in. Done and buried!

I really, really love you Natalie. I don't want anything to fuck this up, we are too good together.

To be asked just once, for someone to have the time for me to ask me if I'm really okey. And I would tell them the truth. To suss me out and realise on there own that I'm not right. I don't want to have to tell them because if they don't make the effort to find out then it doesn't matter.

Instead I'll have to face down being awake through hell again. Not another night. I'm exaughsted.

I spend too much effort trying to figure people out, guessing what they are thinking. No no no. Enough's enough and I've only just realised I do it and dodge told me I did it ages ago but I didn't bloody listen. So I'm going to stop guessing and trying to figure it out so much and just let people come to me, let them tell me.

Nobody can help you if you won't help yourself..

Fuck you RCS.
Stolen dreams. She deserved this probably more than anyone else in that room.

It's not going to be alright is it?