Trying to study in the library and all I can think about is how badly I want someone to fuck me. Apparently library's make me horney now as well, who knew? 

Would seriously love for someone to climb into bed and just be there, close to me. Find myself writing and thinking that alot and it's not like i've ever known something that was that consistent, so i'm never sure why it's always there but regardless. Find it hard to ignore. At the same time it's easy to miss someone wanting your touch to be there hmm. Got a weird craving just to be able to put a lot of thought and effort into making some one grin, the kinda take them some place ace that they have never been and show them something new typa thing. Or play out something they have always wanted to do but have just never got around to it, doesnt have to be something big just something they want to do. I miss that as well. Knowing how to chill someone completely out as well, sitting in the quiet playing with there hair or running your finger tips over there skin until they are snoring away. Theres no outlet for these things that isn't another person. 

Apparently Rhys is 'on a mission' to shag me before he gets to third year? Excuse you. Pretty funny considering it's never going to happen - uncomfortable to be talked about like I'm some sort of weird challenge, just a hole for some guy to shove his dick in so he can say he's fucked a lesbian. Go set your pubes on fire. 

Nearly made a total dick move but came to my senses. This girl told me last night that she was falling for me -  I mean body is wanting so much but brains position is the same - nearly caved and asked her over but I didn't. I can't actually get emotionally attached at the moment and I'm not wanting to, I'm sure of that so it would be totally unfair to her. So I told her straight, ain't fair to play with a girl with feelings and being selfish with the physical. I'm a dick for even thinking about it for a second to be honest. 

Was fine for a few days as well just as soon as she mentioned wanting to kiss me and have a cuddle, bam there's the little monster back and wanting someone all over me. Spesifically admittedly my thoughts keep going back to one thing

Do what feels good right? Can't sleep and all my brain keeps jogging on back to is how much i want G to be with me right now. Naked, gorgeous and in my bed. I dont think i'd care what went down if she was, more than up for playing it on what she fancied at the time.

Getting a little bit lost in the physical is what is needed right now. I'm not sure I'd subject anyone to well myself right now though because I can't afford to get the emotional and the physical tangled or I'm fucked. So tired at the moment it mainly that and weird down points. Want to put all this frustration into fucking someone, strange that it's not the other way around but having scratches on my back and a bite mark on my shoulder from pushing them to the edge is the most appealing thing right now. 

A little drunk

still fucking alone. 

Uggh hands fucked from playing so much today, forgot how much of a killer metal mix strings are. Got a pityful amount of work done because i got distracted as well and body has taken over too much so i can't focus. The rest i'm good with like emotionally and shit but i'm craving being kissed pretty bad, genrally having someones touch. Perfect thing right now would be if someone grabed me into a cuddle and kissed me for a while untill we fell asleep. Seriously want it so much but there ain't shit i can do about that one right now. Probably just being a sap.

Desided i'm totally uncool with myself for showing skin in pictures to folk, was one thing that i've always been like nah i'm not going to do it. Fair enough i've been there done that (lost the t-shirt!) but if a girl wants to see me in the buff then they are going to have to be close enough to touch. Weird conflicting ideas about all these things right now but i think it's just because i'm getting thrown different senarios which is ace but i both want to be able to know what i think about them and be able to go with the flow? Like i'm totally not thinking about these things seriously because theres no point. It's nice to have the freedom to do what ever feels good typa thin.

Wishing the girl who left my bed smelling like her was in it, seriously would love to get my hands on her again. Got about a million things that have been imagined that i want to put into practise, i really want to fuck her.