I can't sleep 

    My whole body is burning up, it's too much to stand I need her touch. 

I can't wait for it i need her

                It isnt a feeling i can translate into words, craving that moment when you get compleatly carried away. It's not the sex i want, its the feeling of wanting her so much i can't keep my hands off her body or restrain from kissing her. losing it all and not giving a shit how much noise we make.   She's got me bad without even saying a word. 

 The thought of her body ontop of mine, running her hands over my skin, it's driving me crazy. 

            i'm not sure i could stand being teased if she pulled away. Even if she just ran her finger tips down the side of my neck, it would be too much. 

Pull me into you and kiss the fuck out of me.
 You turn me on so much and you know even know it,

It's too irrisistable and i can't help myself...

Fuck me!

            

Losing you slowly to one thing or another.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react to these things. Am I being selfish? Or stupid? Can I handle it better. 

You have an arm that has seen better days, with cuts that will one day fade. It doesn't stop you from being beautiful. You're probably going to wish that they will stay at some point. Give yourself a break from this..Your head must be exaughstead. The abuse of your body only makes it more so. Your standing smack bang in the middle of the cross roads and just because its easier not to get a little lost isn't the reason to keep choosing the same way. If same way hasn't helped you have to make the call to do what you deserve. It might seem hopeless resently, I can see that you need some sort of relief. We can get some help and not let this go any further past your breaking point without having to do anything horrible. There is something that is going to make you feel so much better than have been and you can have it. If you can manage the courage to have it. 

Don't feel like you have to do anything on your own. You may not always want to tell anyone these things, I don't need to be told I'm still coming along with you for it all. You're the love of my life and I won't let you continue to believe and treat yourself like you don't deserve to have a little love for you. Your body. Your life! 

It's not going to be easy or a quick thing to fix. Reality is shit but it may be a case of relapsing once or twice before you get there. But you will get there. There's a hospital or a dance school or a little girl who needs your passion for ballet to insipre them,that need you. No one else they need you. There's people that love you who need you to be the best version of yourself. To see you happy and successful. Don't settle for just getting by mumble penguin... I love you 

It makes me a little sad..

I wish that we could go some place new, together. I don't want to be apart from her or away. I can't wait to get on a train away from here - me and nat - freedom. Together.