You have an arm that has seen better days, with cuts that will one day fade. It doesn't stop you from being beautiful. You're probably going to wish that they will stay at some point. Give yourself a break from this..Your head must be exaughstead. The abuse of your body only makes it more so. Your standing smack bang in the middle of the cross roads and just because its easier not to get a little lost isn't the reason to keep choosing the same way. If same way hasn't helped you have to make the call to do what you deserve. It might seem hopeless resently, I can see that you need some sort of relief. We can get some help and not let this go any further past your breaking point without having to do anything horrible. There is something that is going to make you feel so much better than have been and you can have it. If you can manage the courage to have it. 

Don't feel like you have to do anything on your own. You may not always want to tell anyone these things, I don't need to be told I'm still coming along with you for it all. You're the love of my life and I won't let you continue to believe and treat yourself like you don't deserve to have a little love for you. Your body. Your life! 

It's not going to be easy or a quick thing to fix. Reality is shit but it may be a case of relapsing once or twice before you get there. But you will get there. There's a hospital or a dance school or a little girl who needs your passion for ballet to insipre them,that need you. No one else they need you. There's people that love you who need you to be the best version of yourself. To see you happy and successful. Don't settle for just getting by mumble penguin... I love you