Should I be turned on by thirsty girls or terrified? a decision I'm trying to make but I'm so confused by all this female attention! Not in a bad way but need to make sure shit doesn't get heavy because I don't want to start hurting folk. No desire to BE anyones I'm fine with my freedom. Might just stick to the club/bar scean, sending me a picture of the vaj really doesn't hold the right kind of attention for long. 

Shit got completely unclassy on snap chat with some girl tonight - cracking up because all she sent was pictures of her own fanny. Being a tease turns out to be more entertaining than I thought but I got bored after two pictures so the poor girl is probably livid. Morals where compromised but impulse got the better of me.. 

The things i'd do to her right now if she was close enough to touch..

Holy shit.. new underwear needed or even better he can just leave it off all together. I'd let this guy do what ever the hell he wanted to me  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VluqUycecc0 Who knew drummers where sexy as hell, infact who knew guys where sexy as hell to me - maybe he's an exeption. 

Current mood to a T

No desire for anything other than a naked girl in my bed and not having to leave it for hours. Shove me against the wall and fuck me already. Seriously lacking, equally as much frustration aimed at wanting to get hands on..

Makes me seriously admire people who take things into there own hands, take control of there own life without the expectation that someone else will sort it out for them. 

 I'm settled in the fact that being on the receiving end of my care can't be so bad, even if it does get soppy. Fail to see that being passionate about the way I see/feel about people could be a bad thing.  Unconditionally means that it doesn't matter though, I refuse to regret it but it's left me woundering if there is such thing as mutual love. I mean i sometimes think that most of the time when I've felt anything for someone it's a kind of fate because they needed that compassion and care to help them out. Then once they no longer need it, they go, and that's why there's a revolving door of people because they aren't really supposed to stay. I don't mind that, helping someone move forward can never be a bad thing but I hope that at some point I can find out if mutual love is possible.

Seriously, this has gone beyond desire. I need the head rush and someone on my skin. Uugh fuck me. Sick of seeing to myself. I want a girl who isn't afraid to be forward with me. Although there's nothing sexier than being wanted 

Tried wrapping up in my covers and cuddling myself in an attempt to feel better, but still feeling like shit. Thought I could fix everything on my own without needing anyone for anything, or atleast I'd like to but I can't. It's seems like the much easier solution to having to constantly get used to the revolving door style people who all promise they are there to stay, that they care and won't treat you like shit and they never do keep that promise. It would be logical to think that the kind of being loved or cared about is reserved for those who are deserving of it. Something unconditional. If I was deserving then I reckon it wouldn't play out the same way every time, there must really be something wrong with me. I wish I knew how to fix it. 

Show me, don't tell me. 

There's something about a girl who wears no make up that really grabs my attention. Find myself looking at them thinking shit, she's stunning. I like that what I'm seeing is just them without altering themselves.