I am really hoping that one day maybe someone will love me on a level that we can be together. Right now i know that's not going to happen because i reek of desperation. I might as well write 'please love me' across my face and be done with it. I'm not in a place to see anyone else yet, not at all. I don't even know how to begin fixing myself. I have to accept that there's nothing else i can do to win her heart and be done with it. I hate boys, they can have all the incredible, beautiful girls. They don't even treat girls as they deserve from the things i hear most every day. This whole lesbian thing is getting old. What's the worth in being able to love people when i only hurt them because they can't feel the same? Further more where's the worth in getting abuse most days when I've never so much as kissed a girl.

Maybe i should get a kitten or something. No one else will let me love them so i guess it's the next best thing right? Chances are the kitten probably wouldn't love me and devour me in my sleep. Just saying. Even if it didn't i guess i wouldn't have to sleep on my own.

I'm stable and mentally sound...yes.