I just want to go to sleep and not have to wake up. Sick to my gut of feeling like this, crying all the fucking time. I don't want to be back here i fought so hard to get out.  I can't do it anymore. But i can. I should just leave, go some place where i can't let this effect anyone. I know it will though
 They don't need me. But i wish they would

No stop.. WHY CAN'T I FUCKING LISTEN people are telling me they care but it just won't stick. It won't. Idiot. Pushing everyone away, always do. I need to sort myself out but i don't know how.