There was never a point where i thought that i should give up.

Iridescent to this there was never a time where i truly believed that she would be able to love me as i love her. Here we are though, i knew it. That, if i believed in her enough that she would come to  me when she had the courage. The only doubt i had was that she wouldn't be able to find that little bit of courage. Then she did in such a dramatic way that it took me back, although i shouldn't be surprised. She's always had a habit of doing that. The first time i saw her was when we were doing techy work at school, she was so desperate to do all the little bits and bobs. Thought she was cute from the word go but there was something about her that was really different, not something that you could see but some how i knew that she was going to be important to me. At first she was a friend that was coming a best friend, someone to talk to and be glad to see every day. The first time i knew she was more? when ever time i saw her my heart would beat a little bit faster, when everyone else seemed to be so much different in comparison. We would sit in the changing rooms after school when she had dancing so that i could walk her after she was changed, i remember sitting trying desperately not to stare. To keep my pulse steady so she didn't twig that it was her doing it. To restrain from relaxing my arms when we cuddled so i would be able to kiss her. To me she has always been tauntingly beautiful, not the kind that you find often. I love her eyes the most, they are so blue and they let me know what she's thinking even if she can't. The freckles on her cheeks and the way a little dimple peeks out when she smiles. I'm pretty sure i could draw every detail of her features if you asked me, but that would require me to be half descent at drawing. 

I always belonged to her in a way i don't to anyone before. But i was trying so desperately to move on in some way - Physically/emotionally it didn't matter i just needed her to see that we belonged with each other - It was the last thing i could think of trying. Even though when i was talking to other girls it felt so much like cheating i couldn't handle it most times, i just wanted to push them away and just leave it. I didn't know if she knew her true feelings until June, that was the first time we kissed. It felt right like it had been waiting to happen for a very long time but it was right for it to happen then. It was never so much of a moment, going from being friends to being a couple, it was more of a natural progression. Mistakes have been made and we don't always manage to do the best for each other but that's a simple kind of perfect. Without the mistakes i'm not sure you can appreciate the time when everything is okey. If something happens then we use each other to get through it, even if it's something one of us has done. Some of the best times together where at school, even just walking to class and always always being late. She would walk in and say " sorry i'm late, it was kirstys fault" to some of the teachers.

I can hardly remember a time with out her, and when i do i don't remember it being as happy. There are so many people that Natalie brings with her, especially her family. They accepted us straight away, most importantly they saw that it was what made her happy. When i'm with Nat at home there is so much more life, the boys will be running about trying to kill each other. Lukas will be pottering about eating things and asking questions. Mamma is running about cleaning things with liam doing his impressions in the kitchen. It's so nice for it not to be quiet, there is something there even when they are yelling at each other you can feel that there is love there. Here? you can't not really. In a way she is more than one person. Natalie, in her self is completely amazing but together with her family, the people who made her part of who she is.

If i ever lost her then no one could compare, she is beautiful, caring, has this really inspiring air about her. There aren't enough words that i could put together to describe. She is quite literally the girl of my dreams and it makes me laugh to write that but it's true.