I need to know she's okey but it's like all the doors are locked and I can't get in. If I've lost her I'm not ever going to forgive myself..please don't be the case. If I've done something that's hurt her. Gah I can't even stand the thought.

Come back, please just come home baby...

 I couldn't stand losing you, not now and not ever. You're my lungs and i can't breathe without you. 

If i ever was to leave, i would be straight back in tears at your door.

I can't and further more i don't want to.

I'm no where near being ready to move on. It's like this little force that pulls me towards her and i can't escape it further more I don't want to. I'm honestly questioning if i can because right now it really doesn't feel like it at all. I thought it would be easy changing the way i felt, like with becca. That was easy...i guess i didn't truly love her. This time is different it's never felt like if one person wasn't some where anywhere on the planet, it would be utterly pointless to stay.

I love you

and i can never truly show it.

“I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it"

Cuddle me close...kiss me or something.
I just need to be close.

Don't make me explain blog.

I wish for the same thing every time

I can still do that much. It's what keeps me going some times. I know, that it would be too unbelievably good to be true but I wish anyway. I dont deserve it to come true. Wake up in the morning and my pillow is soaking and I can't remember when I fell asleep.

Today's no different.

It's no secret, i miss you. I was daydreaming today when i was polishing glasses and i imagen if you just walked through the door, i ran up and hugged you and i cried on your shoulder. In fact we both did..was just happy to see you smiling at me. Then lee came and ordered me to clear a table and it was gone, had to pretend to get a drink so i could compose myself.

I love you, i'm so sorry i couldn't be there last night or today..i know it must be harder on you baby.